Why I Am No Longer Vegan
I kindly ask that you read this entire post before leaving any comments. While I am no longer vegan, the recipes on this blog will always be vegan friendly and cater to all types of eaters. Thank you for your continued support.
I have been putting this post off for a while because I’ve been really nervous about how it would be received. On one end, I was worried that friends and family who were skeptical of a plant based diet to begin with would have an “I told you so” mentality.
On the other hand, I worried that those who believe a plant-based diet is the only healthful way of eating would be critical and not understand my choice.
The bottom line is, I won’t ever be able to please everyone. This is the best decision for me and I am here to share my story in hopes it helps anyone who is in a similar position as I was.
Becoming vegan
I first went vegan in the Fall of 2015 and I felt really good. I had been pescatarian for a few months prior to that, and decided to cut out all dairy to help my hormones, digestion, and skin. Eventually, eggs were the only animal products remaining, so I figured why not try veganism?
Initially, it was a change I made for my health. However, it quickly became a deeply ethical stance after learning about factory farming and how animals end up on our plates. To me, veganism wasn’t a diet, it was a lifestyle, and I was in it for the long haul. For myself, the planet, and the animals.
My skin was the clearest it had ever been, my energy was high, my sleep and mood improved, my periods were easy, my running got better, the benefits were seemingly endless.
I was so excited about sharing my cruelty-free lifestyle with others, so eventually Eat With Clarity was born. I was passionate about sharing recipes with others and was excited to see the vegan movement grow.
I like to think I was a really responsible vegan. I always took my important supplements (vitamins D, B12, and even a multivitamin for good measure), didn’t try extreme fruit only diets, month long water fasts, or any of the other ridiculous trends I’d seen others doing.
Where things went wrong
About a year and a half ago (early 2018) I started to lose extreme amounts of hair in the shower. I’m not talking about a few extra hairs in my brush or on my pillow. I mean huge handfuls that would require me to clean the shower drain at least 3 times over the course of a 5-10 minute shower or else I would end up taking a bath instead.
I hate to sound superficial, but hair loss as a young woman is terrifying. It’s scary to feel like your body is going against you and scarier when you don’t know how to stop it or how bad it’s going to get.
I didn’t share any of this until now because it’s hard dealing with health issues and broadcasting them publicly. Everyone seems to have an opinion about what you should and shouldn’t do, so I kept this to myself for the most part.
Frankly, I don’t love sharing this now. But I think it’s important to include these details and share my story because what I went through is incredibly common. So, if you too are dealing with hair loss or other health issues, please know you aren’t alone.
I knew I needed a change
In addition to the hair loss, I lost my periods, had extreme fatigue yet horrible insomnia, shortness of breath, shin rashes, digestive discomfort and acne so severe I could hardly sleep.
No matter what I ate, right after dinner I was always bloated, gassy, and felt painfully inflamed. Most of the time after I ate I looked pregnant. I was in so much physical and emotional pain that I became a very unpleasant person to be around.
I played around with different foods, macronutrient breakdowns, and a host of other things while still maintaining a vegan diet, but nothing seemed to help.
No matter what food I cut out or added back, it stayed the same. My skin was terrible, my energy was low, and it was really hard finding foods that didn’t irritate my body.
I saw countless doctors and specialists. Eventually, after getting multiple rounds of blood work done, I learned I had severe hormonal imbalances, anemia, leaky gut, celiac disease and several nutrient deficiencies despite my diligent supplementation and varied plant-based diet.
My iron, B12, and vitamin D were extremely low, as well as iodine, selenium, zinc, copper, and a few others.
My body was unable to absorb iron and other nutrients in my food and supplements. In order to absorb nutrients, I needed to heal my gut. There were many foods I had to eliminate to heal my gut such as certain nuts, grains, and legumes. Continuing on a vegan diet without these foods would only lead to further deficiencies.
I contemplated making the change for months before I actually did, despite having very strong cravings for things like eggs and salmon.
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Veganism had become a huge part of my identity over the years and I didn’t want to let it go. I love animals and didn’t want to contribute to any suffering, but I also didn’t want my own health to suffer.
While I was not dealing with any life threatening conditions (though they very much so affected my ability to function on a daily basis), the symptoms I had served as very stark warning signs that something was wrong and needed my attention. If I continued to ignore them now, they would merely lead to more severe health issues down the road.
I tried EVERYTHING
In the past year and half I have seen more doctors and specialists than I care to count. I’ve seen conventional doctors, naturopathic doctors, homeopaths, chiropractors, acupuncturists, nutritionists, dietitians. You name it, I’ve tried it. I’ve had countless tests done, from hormone panels, to thyroid, iron, vitamin A, D, B12, iodine, and more.
I tried DOZENS of supplements (at one point I was taking upwards of 50 supplements a day just to feel normal). A lot of progress was made thanks to certain supplements, but not enough to get my health back to normal.
I love animals, I care about the planet, I don’t want to contribute to the suffering of any living being. But I couldn’t ignore the fact that my health was getting worse.
Your body speaks to you. Your job is to listen.
In January of this year, I decided to add collagen and bone broth into my diet to help my gut. I was scared to take the first sip of bone broth, maybe even a little grossed out, but as soon as I did, I could hear my body saying ahhh, yes, this is what I need. I drank it a few times a week, and added collagen to my golden milk lattes and slowly started to feel better.
Eventually, I added in eggs, wild caught fish, and organic chicken a few times a week. I soon noticed I no longer had the gassy and bloated feeling after I ate. Changes certainly did not occur overnight, but over time I started to feel much better, and my blood work reflected that.
To me, veganism was always about compassion. Compassion for others, the animals, the planet, but also for myself. Despite my morals screaming at me to keep eating a fully plant-based diet, my body was screaming for something different.
I couldn’t continue eating in a way that was not contributing to my health. Is eating an entirely plant-based diet a kinder way to treat the animals? Yes. But I needed to find a happy medium and treat myself kindly.
I wanted to be in a good place both physically and mentally before I shared this change. I have no ulterior or financial motive for changing my diet. The sole reason I changed my diet was because it was necessary for my health.
My experience adding in animal products
After many years and many thousands of dollars, I am very happy to report that my hair loss has stopped and is (slowly but surely!) growing back. My energy is higher, I’m able to sleep through the night, my digestion is better, my skin has cleared, I got my period back, and my blood work is much better.
My health issues didn’t vanish overnight and my dietary change hasn’t healed everything. Diet is only one piece of the health puzzle, albeit a very important one. This is my story and experience, and I do not want to give the vegan movement a bad rap.
I understand my decision may be confusing or upsetting. However, I want to be clear that a fully plant-based diet is a healthful and nutritious way of eating. It can work for a lot of people. However, I had to honor the fact that it was no longer working for me and probably won’t work for everyone. Humans are natural omnivores after all, and as much as I wanted it to, a fully plant based diet did not agree with my body. Veganism is inherently about compassion, but it’s important to remember to extend this compassion to ourself and fellow humans who simply cannot eat this way. Whether for health, financial or other reasons.
There is no one perfect human diet. We are all unique beings with different needs, ancestral backgrounds, and physical chemistries. I used to believe that some variation of veganism could work for everyone. But over the past year of dealing with my health issues, I realize this is not the case.
Being a compassionate, ethical, environmentally conscious person does not have to be black or white. Small changes go a long way and I think it’s important for us to do the best we can when we can. I do my best to be as environmentally and ethically conscious as possible while still maintaining my health.
When I heard stories of other people turning their backs on the vegan diet for health reasons, I would roll my eyes. I didn’t think there was any possible way animal products would promote health.
I always thought said person couldn’t have been in it for the right reasons. My sincere apologies to any ex-vegan I ever judged along the way. I can now understand where you are coming from.
What this means going forward
The recipes on this blog will continue to be 80% plant based and always gluten and dairy free. The recipes that are not vegan will have vegan options or alternatives whenever possible.
Certain recipes will contain eggs, fish, or chicken from time to time. However, I want this to be a place where ALL types of eaters are welcome, no questions or judgment.
My ultimate goal will always be to inspire others to bring MORE plants into the picture. For the sake of our health, the animals, and the planet, more plants is an excellent goal.
I feel amazing eating mostly plant based, but feel extra amazing with the addition of animal products. I hope you can respect my decision and I appreciate all of your continued love and support! ♡
Comments
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Thank you , thank you, thank you for writing about your experiences with being vegan. Its been a little over a year for me and my hair is falling out, itchy skin, anxiety and sleepless nights. I have cravings of eating turkey and chicken but I have anxiety going back to meat. Every body is different and what works for one may not work for another.
Thank you so much.
Jackie-
I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. I always encourage everyone to listen to their own body. Healing takes time but I hope you start feeling better soon!
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Claire, I just fond your blog. While I was ready this I felt like I was reading about my journey. I too was a Vegan for 9 months. The first month I felt amazing and so happy I wasn’t eating any animal products. Then things progressed downhill. I started getting headaches for 24 hours once a week, I got sick more, got the flu, then shingles, then a sinus infection. I had no energy and still had to take care of my three kids three times. I then realized once I ate meat none of this happened. I went back on meat and everything cleared up. This was about 5 years ago, and I am still not 100% back. when I went to the doctor and got blood work done he said if I didn’t go back on meat I would have passed out, as I was so nutrient deficient. Now, I only eat chicken, beef, and eggs and milk from farms. These are also farms that I visit. They are all pastured raised, grass fed and finished. If we go out, I get vegetarian. When we order in, I get vegetarian or make my own. Several of my doctors even said eating Vegan is not for everyone. We need to listen to our bodies. Thank goodness you did listen to yours
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Hi Jessie, thank you so much for sharing. I’m so glad you have found what works for your body and are feeling better! I agree it’s not for everyone, we all need to do what works for our own bodies. Sending love!
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I feel gross hearing about the collagen but I do appreciate how you didn’t knock down veganism for others.
I commend you for your journey and wish others would stay on as long as you did. Thank you for that and more.
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I have been searching and searching, and I have finally found story that so closely aligns with mine – your story! However, I have been on a long track of recovery with many setbacks and would love to know more about the steps you have taken to get to the point you are at. Thanks for sharing your journey. x
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It’s been a very long road with lots of ups and downs! But ultimately, the decision to include animal products in my diet was exactly what I needed and I truly haven’t felt better in years. Listen to your body, it knows best!
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I went vegan almost three years ago, and my health improved similar to your own. Recently, I also experienced health issues, that all started with kidney stones, digestive issues, and other stuff I need not mention.
Your article rings so true, “Our bodies to talk to us and we should listen.” I guess I’ve concluded something I already knew and ignored, which is everything within reason is all right when done in moderation.
Thanks for sharing. I feel less isolated.-
I’m so happy this post helped you, Richard! All the best to you.
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I’ve just come across this post now and want to thank you so so much for your bravery in sharing this. I’ve been a vegetarian for most of my life and a vegan for the past 4 years, have always felt super healthy and full of energy until this last year, I’ve had pretty much all the same symptoms as you had.. looking pregnant after ANYTHING I eat is hard to deal with! I’ve also tried so many doctors and nutritionists etc but finally came across one who’s pinpointed what’s going wrong and suggested I introduce some animal products back into my diet. It’s been a really difficult decision but finding posts like yours has given me some support in going through with it. We have to be compassionate towards ourselves too and recognise what our body needs! Thankyou again for sharing, hope you’re feeling well now ❤️
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I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through, but I’m glad my post has helped in some way. It was such a tough decision for me too, but almost 2 years later and I truly haven’t felt better! Hang in there ❤️
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Hi Claire,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I just stumbled accross this today and while I was reading through your post I couldn’t believe how similar your story is to mine. I haven’t had the courage yet to try eating meat again, but every day I get a step closer. I have been vegan for fourteen years, so it’s pretty significant, but I have a feeling that it is the right step for me now.
Can I ask you, since you posted this one year ago, how do you feel now that you have had more time eating meat again? Do you eat all types of meat, or do you stick to just poultry and seafood?
Thank you again for sharing this. It has helped me immensely.-
Hi Daphnee! I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through something similar, but I happy this post has helped you! It’s been about a year and half since I stopped being vegan and I honestly haven’t felt better in a long time. It wasn’t an immediate change and I had some lingering issues, but it’s overall been a very positive change. I have never been a big red meat eater, so I still stick with poultry and seafood and find that works well for me. It was strange at first to eat meat, but it’s totally normal to me now and something I really enjoy! Hope that helps, and let me know if you have any more questions!
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Thank you for sharing.
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Plant based diet and veganism are very difficult… As diets are about you, your beauty, health, body…fitness etc.
Veganism is about ethics not just physical body or image. It is about eliminating suffering band a path of non violence or Ahimsa. Diet is just a very basic way of expressing that. Veganism is not something you try out…
Not adding to rape, murder or slavery is not something to try out for a while and quit if you find your body (mind) reacting to withdrawal symptoms.
If you are against rape, torture, slavery, abuse, murder… that’s it…you are so.. that’s your truth. You don’t stop being against bit. You don’t try non violence and then quit because of health reasons. It is a deep sense of right and wrong.
So kindly change title of story to why you are no longer a plant based dieters.
Or why are you no longer sensitive to horrors of rape, abuse, slavery and murder.
Do not add to prevalent confusions about the term veganism. Let us not miseducate people that vegans all over the world are suffering health wise or having hairfall..or whatever you are blaming yourself for. Its the mind that ultimately makes it real…it’s the matrix that has us here..a simulation of our beliefs and out of our belief we create our own reality. If you really believe in ethics and non violence…you will learn that there might be Yogi’s who practice far more challenging paths, pure frugivore, breatharians, those with real spiritual power and who are above this Matrix. It is really about your consciousness level and most of us are victims bof the Matrix unable to rise up from the prison cells of our programmed reality due to lack of will power and lack of faith in our inner self. Without ethics deeply rooted within we are hollow, beautiful and healthy outside. I do not blame any individual as we are victims of the system but an individual can rise above the system if he or she resonates deeply with inner values and consciousness and ignores articles from the Matrix designed to derail Ascension.-
When I first went vegan, I was deeply committed to the ethics. I never in a million years thought I would eat meat or any animal products again. Until your health is truly suffering, it’s impossible to say how you would respond. I am absolutely sensitive to the horrors or rape, abuse, slavery and murder, but I am also sensitive to the horrors of having crippling health issues that prevent you from doing anything with your life.
I never said “vegans all over the world are suffering health wise…” because that isn’t true. But veganism does not work for everyone, so let us not spread the message that is does.
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Your insensitivity to this story is astounding.
God killed the first animal in the garden to clothe Adam and Eve. Ain’t nothing wrong with eating meat, so long as we are good stewards of what God has blessed us with (i.e., saying no to factory farms and yes to family farms). How about we learn to love thy neighbor first? Humans are not animals. People who put the lives of animals above the lives of humans, with souls AND spirits, continue to boggle my mind.
Should we respect animals? Yes. We should respect them, and God put mankind above animals to take care of them (and all of creation, actually—not above God of course because creation cannot overshadow it’s Creator), and we are directed to be good stewards of all He has given to us. But our first command is to love as He loved us, and that love should be shown to all mankind, who have spirits that can be destroyed.
Think about this: are you this passionate to the countless unborn babies who are executed each year? Probably not. Maybe you are (if so, great). Ensure that your perceived self-righteousness is not akin to wickedness. If you are spreading falsehoods or being hypocritical, this is not righteousness.
Quitting veganism is not the same as being okay with rape, torture, and murder (not even in the same supercluster). If it is hurting someone’s body or is not right for someone’s lifestyle to continue veganism or to start veganism (or, golly, if they just want to have meat), (1) it is not your place to judge—you are still entitled to your opinion like everybody has a butthole—and (2) it’s probably unwise to continue said lifestyle. Don’t kid yourself, you would do the same.
This here is the exact reason why people do not want to become vegan. This holier-than-thou god-like complex in which you want to assert superiority but it just shows your insecurity in yourself. Your identity is not what you eat. It is not what you, either.
I will be praying for you.
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Hi and thank you for your interesting read. I understand completely where you are coming from. I’ve been vegan for 2 years now and feel fine but I have recently learned that veganism isn’t suited to my blood type. Out of interest what is your blood type? Basically all of the food groups that I should be avoiding in the blood type diet are what I’m consuming as a vegan. It’s so mind blowing I really don’t know what to do. I’m left with very little I can eat. At the moment the thought of eating any form of animal product repulses me I shall have to see if my health declines. I suffergreatly with HSV 2 flare ups and the vegan diet does not help this. Anyone else going through similar stuff?
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I’m blood type O. In my experience, following any rigid diet, whether it be blood type, vegan, paleo etc. ultimately leads to too much restriction and possible malnourishment. It is so, so important to listen to your body and do what feels best for you, regardless of what everyone else is doing or saying.
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I came across your post today because I was searching for others who dealt with giving up a vegan diet. I’m so relieved to find this written in a way that I can totally relate to! I made the decision today to add chicken, salmon and eggs back into my diet. I’m allergic to dairy. I’m having the same problems as you; the hair loss, hormone Imbalance, and my mood is just low. I also have cystic acne. I take B12, Calcium, magnesium and zinc, but nothing seems to be working. I was also drinking a raw plant based protein shake every morning. It’s been months and like you I’ve had blood, thyroid, and other testing done. I feel so guilty turning my back, but I have to do what’s best for me. Thank you for being so open and letting others know that it’s okay to not be vegan anymore.
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Thank you so much for sharing and I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I had many of the same reservations as you, but it’s been about a year since I made the switch and I can confidently say it was incredibly beneficial for my health and I’m so glad I did it. Sending you love and hope you feel better soon!
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Once it was without question that the earth was flat. Now it is without question that grazing animals harm the planet and cropping rather than grazing is the solution. Therefore the modern mantra is that veganism is kinder to the planet.
I am glad that throughout history some people have questioned the unquestionable. I don’t like seeing people turning the planet into a hot desert.
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I too question the unquestionable which is why I stopped following a diet that was making me sick despite my strong belief that there was only one “perfect human diet” and one way to treat the planet kindly. I was wrong.
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Thanks Claire. That you did and all credit to you for doing so. Courage is sorely lacking these days.
It is up to you but I think you should include that link to the scientist who restores arid areas or there is a danger that people will think we are both mad – just saying.
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Hi Claire, thanks for sharing your journey and what is now working for you. I have recently switched to a plant based diet and have found that some in the vegan community are all or nothing. You either completely go vegan at all costs or what you are doing doesn’t count. That is very disconcerting to newbies. I say do what works best for you and thank you for all that you have contributed and will continue to do so in the future. I’m looking forward to trying some of your recipes and following you.
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Hi Heidi, thank you for your thoughts! I completely agree, and wish people would be more open minded. I think a plant based diet is a wonderful way of eating, but it is also so important to listen to your body. I love creating and sharing vegan recipes, and hope there is something here you enjoy! All the best.
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Such a heartfelt and well written post. You are a very brave woman who has been through a lot. The bottom line is that no single diet is best for everyone. The only common
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Hi Claire, thank you for your blog, sharing your insight, and your honesty. You have been on my heart and I felt I needed to share my story with you. I have been whole food plant based for about 5 years now. The transition was a gradual one and now includes no oil. I was 52 years when I went WFPB and my skin really suffered. For the first time in my life, I endured acne. I never gave up on my WFPBNO diet because I felt so amazing (not immediately I must admit) otherwise and now my skin is returning to its former self. It took a while though and what I am wondering is this … perhaps my body was so toxic and the acne was a symptom of my body healing much like the symptoms of other poisonous addictions where the body feels and looks worse when the substance is stopped but with perseverance and abstinence from the toxic substance begins to turn itself around and heal. I’m now 5 years WFPBNO, feeling well, am medication free, and my skin is great, but I had to endure my first ever bout of acne for about two years. Looking back, I have to say today, the struggle with acne was worth it. xoxo
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Hi Colleen, so happy to hear you are doing better! Acne is almost always a symptom of a toxic body and was definitely the case for me. Poor gut health, parasites, poor detoxification, all contributed to my very severe acne. Health often gets worse before it gets better as the body begins to heal and eliminate what no longer serves it. I’m happy a WFPB worked for you, but my body feels much better with the small addition of animal products. XO
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