Why I Am No Longer Vegan
I kindly ask that you read this entire post before leaving any comments. While I am no longer vegan, the recipes on this blog will always be vegan friendly and cater to all types of eaters. Thank you for your continued support.
I have been putting this post off for a while because I’ve been really nervous about how it would be received. On one end, I was worried that friends and family who were skeptical of a plant based diet to begin with would have an “I told you so” mentality.
On the other hand, I worried that those who believe a plant-based diet is the only healthful way of eating would be critical and not understand my choice.
The bottom line is, I won’t ever be able to please everyone. This is the best decision for me and I am here to share my story in hopes it helps anyone who is in a similar position as I was.
Becoming vegan
I first went vegan in the Fall of 2015 and I felt really good. I had been pescatarian for a few months prior to that, and decided to cut out all dairy to help my hormones, digestion, and skin. Eventually, eggs were the only animal products remaining, so I figured why not try veganism?
Initially, it was a change I made for my health. However, it quickly became a deeply ethical stance after learning about factory farming and how animals end up on our plates. To me, veganism wasn’t a diet, it was a lifestyle, and I was in it for the long haul. For myself, the planet, and the animals.
My skin was the clearest it had ever been, my energy was high, my sleep and mood improved, my periods were easy, my running got better, the benefits were seemingly endless.
I was so excited about sharing my cruelty-free lifestyle with others, so eventually Eat With Clarity was born. I was passionate about sharing recipes with others and was excited to see the vegan movement grow.
I like to think I was a really responsible vegan. I always took my important supplements (vitamins D, B12, and even a multivitamin for good measure), didn’t try extreme fruit only diets, month long water fasts, or any of the other ridiculous trends I’d seen others doing.
Where things went wrong
About a year and a half ago (early 2018) I started to lose extreme amounts of hair in the shower. I’m not talking about a few extra hairs in my brush or on my pillow. I mean huge handfuls that would require me to clean the shower drain at least 3 times over the course of a 5-10 minute shower or else I would end up taking a bath instead.
I hate to sound superficial, but hair loss as a young woman is terrifying. It’s scary to feel like your body is going against you and scarier when you don’t know how to stop it or how bad it’s going to get.
I didn’t share any of this until now because it’s hard dealing with health issues and broadcasting them publicly. Everyone seems to have an opinion about what you should and shouldn’t do, so I kept this to myself for the most part.
Frankly, I don’t love sharing this now. But I think it’s important to include these details and share my story because what I went through is incredibly common. So, if you too are dealing with hair loss or other health issues, please know you aren’t alone.
I knew I needed a change
In addition to the hair loss, I lost my periods, had extreme fatigue yet horrible insomnia, shortness of breath, shin rashes, digestive discomfort and acne so severe I could hardly sleep.
No matter what I ate, right after dinner I was always bloated, gassy, and felt painfully inflamed. Most of the time after I ate I looked pregnant. I was in so much physical and emotional pain that I became a very unpleasant person to be around.
I played around with different foods, macronutrient breakdowns, and a host of other things while still maintaining a vegan diet, but nothing seemed to help.
No matter what food I cut out or added back, it stayed the same. My skin was terrible, my energy was low, and it was really hard finding foods that didn’t irritate my body.
I saw countless doctors and specialists. Eventually, after getting multiple rounds of blood work done, I learned I had severe hormonal imbalances, anemia, leaky gut, celiac disease and several nutrient deficiencies despite my diligent supplementation and varied plant-based diet.
My iron, B12, and vitamin D were extremely low, as well as iodine, selenium, zinc, copper, and a few others.
My body was unable to absorb iron and other nutrients in my food and supplements. In order to absorb nutrients, I needed to heal my gut. There were many foods I had to eliminate to heal my gut such as certain nuts, grains, and legumes. Continuing on a vegan diet without these foods would only lead to further deficiencies.
I contemplated making the change for months before I actually did, despite having very strong cravings for things like eggs and salmon.
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Veganism had become a huge part of my identity over the years and I didn’t want to let it go. I love animals and didn’t want to contribute to any suffering, but I also didn’t want my own health to suffer.
While I was not dealing with any life threatening conditions (though they very much so affected my ability to function on a daily basis), the symptoms I had served as very stark warning signs that something was wrong and needed my attention. If I continued to ignore them now, they would merely lead to more severe health issues down the road.
I tried EVERYTHING
In the past year and half I have seen more doctors and specialists than I care to count. I’ve seen conventional doctors, naturopathic doctors, homeopaths, chiropractors, acupuncturists, nutritionists, dietitians. You name it, I’ve tried it. I’ve had countless tests done, from hormone panels, to thyroid, iron, vitamin A, D, B12, iodine, and more.
I tried DOZENS of supplements (at one point I was taking upwards of 50 supplements a day just to feel normal). A lot of progress was made thanks to certain supplements, but not enough to get my health back to normal.
I love animals, I care about the planet, I don’t want to contribute to the suffering of any living being. But I couldn’t ignore the fact that my health was getting worse.
Your body speaks to you. Your job is to listen.
In January of this year, I decided to add collagen and bone broth into my diet to help my gut. I was scared to take the first sip of bone broth, maybe even a little grossed out, but as soon as I did, I could hear my body saying ahhh, yes, this is what I need. I drank it a few times a week, and added collagen to my golden milk lattes and slowly started to feel better.
Eventually, I added in eggs, wild caught fish, and organic chicken a few times a week. I soon noticed I no longer had the gassy and bloated feeling after I ate. Changes certainly did not occur overnight, but over time I started to feel much better, and my blood work reflected that.
To me, veganism was always about compassion. Compassion for others, the animals, the planet, but also for myself. Despite my morals screaming at me to keep eating a fully plant-based diet, my body was screaming for something different.
I couldn’t continue eating in a way that was not contributing to my health. Is eating an entirely plant-based diet a kinder way to treat the animals? Yes. But I needed to find a happy medium and treat myself kindly.
I wanted to be in a good place both physically and mentally before I shared this change. I have no ulterior or financial motive for changing my diet. The sole reason I changed my diet was because it was necessary for my health.
My experience adding in animal products
After many years and many thousands of dollars, I am very happy to report that my hair loss has stopped and is (slowly but surely!) growing back. My energy is higher, I’m able to sleep through the night, my digestion is better, my skin has cleared, I got my period back, and my blood work is much better.
My health issues didn’t vanish overnight and my dietary change hasn’t healed everything. Diet is only one piece of the health puzzle, albeit a very important one. This is my story and experience, and I do not want to give the vegan movement a bad rap.
I understand my decision may be confusing or upsetting. However, I want to be clear that a fully plant-based diet is a healthful and nutritious way of eating. It can work for a lot of people. However, I had to honor the fact that it was no longer working for me and probably won’t work for everyone. Humans are natural omnivores after all, and as much as I wanted it to, a fully plant based diet did not agree with my body. Veganism is inherently about compassion, but it’s important to remember to extend this compassion to ourself and fellow humans who simply cannot eat this way. Whether for health, financial or other reasons.
There is no one perfect human diet. We are all unique beings with different needs, ancestral backgrounds, and physical chemistries. I used to believe that some variation of veganism could work for everyone. But over the past year of dealing with my health issues, I realize this is not the case.
Being a compassionate, ethical, environmentally conscious person does not have to be black or white. Small changes go a long way and I think it’s important for us to do the best we can when we can. I do my best to be as environmentally and ethically conscious as possible while still maintaining my health.
When I heard stories of other people turning their backs on the vegan diet for health reasons, I would roll my eyes. I didn’t think there was any possible way animal products would promote health.
I always thought said person couldn’t have been in it for the right reasons. My sincere apologies to any ex-vegan I ever judged along the way. I can now understand where you are coming from.
What this means going forward
The recipes on this blog will continue to be 80% plant based and always gluten and dairy free. The recipes that are not vegan will have vegan options or alternatives whenever possible.
Certain recipes will contain eggs, fish, or chicken from time to time. However, I want this to be a place where ALL types of eaters are welcome, no questions or judgment.
My ultimate goal will always be to inspire others to bring MORE plants into the picture. For the sake of our health, the animals, and the planet, more plants is an excellent goal.
I feel amazing eating mostly plant based, but feel extra amazing with the addition of animal products. I hope you can respect my decision and I appreciate all of your continued love and support! ♡
Comments
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Hi Claire, how long until you saw tangible results? like with gut health or skin? (mine just seems dry. it was dehydration for the previous breakouts i discovered. like…. a LOT of water needed. suprising.) hairloss stopped after supplements a while back, but i feel like hair is dull and it breaks at the top. wondering how long i might be in for to see some of these things (hopefully) turn around. or to lose food intolerances, would be fantastic and i hope that’s possible. i’m 2 weeks in, still sometimes feel emotional kickback from having had to make the choice. but being able to exercise again is so huge that i try and just focus on positives like that. also haven’t told my family, because i’m pretty sure the reactions would tromp my emotions pretty well. (i just know better). and am waiting till i am truly in a better place. i did manage to tell 2 close friends by now though. so that’s progress.
thanks for sharing this all, thanks for listening, and i pray that you have seen nothing but improvement and good health from this day forward.
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It took a few months before anything major happened. I felt better within a few weeks, and it’s now been about 3 years and my health has truly never been better. It takes time, but hang in there! Confide in friends if you can, and remember that your body knows best! All the best to you.
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I went through this recently. Vegan 6 years then vegetarian for almost 4. I’m wondering if the health crash I had was in any way caused by this… (It happened earlier on, definitely had the hair loss, leaky gut, and even a drastic 30 lb weightloss that was NOT a good thing. food intolerances skyrocketed.).
What you talk about regarding extending compassion to onesself – that was the hardest part i think. because i felt like i was abandoning my morals. but i reminded myself that torturing myself into horrific health and mental health was never the intention. and that i could choose to look for sustainable and humane sources. (something i wouldn’t have known to do before.) i also have a plethora of ways to cook plant-based, and still will, but with the addition of some protein. my sleep and mood changed drastically after the first night. wasn’t expecting that.
hoping HOPING some of the other stuff was tied to diet and might resolve. (also, supplements are expensive!! was spending over $300 at one point, after the crash.
thank you for sharing your story. i remember one a while back regarding “why i am eating eggs again” and if not for that person being brave enough to share that – i never would have tried adding them back to address exercise intolerance. i wouldn’t have thought to. at the end of the day, i know that i DID exhaust all options, i fought for everything, but if your body is not faring well…. sometimes you have to just take a deeeeeeeeep deeeeeeeeeeeep breath, and make a difficult change.
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Hi,
Just wanted to let you know this is just what I needed.
I don’t want to make the heartbreaking decision to stop being vegetarian due to my principle of compassion to animals, in order to better my health. But it’s true we need a healthy balance where we are compassionate to ourselves also.Thanks for this
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Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your story! I’ve been vegan-ish for approx. 3-4 months. But I had to re-evaluate what I need to for my body.
Today was the 2nd week in a row that I felt sick by the end of the week. Tired, no energy. Headache, etc. I used to feel weak , like I was going to fall over, by the end of the week. However, I added zinc, Vitamin C, multivitamins and a Vitamin D supplement (dr prescribed).
But something is still off.
I REALLY want to be a vegan & do my part for the earth, for animals, but I don’t think my body is set up for doing so. I most likely will go back to eating fish, lean organic/healthy raised chicken, lean turkey, with the occasional beef but NO PORK lol!
Also, don’t worry about the opinion of others. Those who mind don’t matter. And those who matter don’t mind!
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Thanks so much for sharing your story! It’s such a tough thing to navigate, but my best advice is to listen to your body and do what you think is best for you!
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What on earth is Veganish? No such thing.
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Thank you so much for your words. After 2.5 years of being vegan (I am a 26 yr old female), I knew something wasn’t right when I missed my period for 3 months. On top of this I have a lack of energy and zero immunity. I like yourself loved being vegan, but these warning signs from my body are finally pushing me to make a change. Thank you for your vulnerability- it is helping others find what is best for them. Xx
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Thank you so much for sharing Alyssa! I’m so glad this post was able to help you.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you for this blog. I also could not maintain this way of eating. I became disorientated and almost got in a serious car accident because my body was so weak and deficient in essential nutrients. Memory challenges, bloating, pain in my stomach and back all disappeared when I started eating meat again. I am now sticking with fish, chicken, and eggs. Bless you.
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Believe it or not everything I need to know about eating I learned from Tom Brady (uh, the Quarterback)
First of all he has famously said “there are many ways to bake a cake”
So of course he would be okay with you no longer being Vegan
Anyway I am in perfect health and I am “mostly” Vegan and eat very similar to what Tom Brady talks about in his book TB12I eat 20 or 30 different fruits and vegetables every single day
I eat a little fish
I eat bread with a little egg
If I eat chicken it is from truly run around a farm heritage breed organic feed truly had a happy life until that fateful day chickens
And the very rare times I eat beef it is again heritage truly grazed in total freedom on a giant ranch cow
Just what works for me -
I am so tired. I got super dry skin and acne and irritable and bloated and weight gain after going vegan.
if its just collagen we need is there a non animal collagen?-
It is definitely not just collagen you need, but I recommend speaking with a qualified practitioner who can best support you!
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Thank you for sharing this! I have been having similar issues including the hair loss, fatigue, and also dizziness, adrenal fatigue, cortisol spikes, heart palpitations, hormone imbalance, etc. I was wondering what tests have you done? I had a full hormone panel test and the basic blood tests that check for vitamin deficiencies and blood count, cholesterol, and thyroid. I wanted to have some more tests done but I’m not sure what to check for. The conventional doctors I went to just told me it was anxiety (this was before my hormone panel) and I haven’t gone back. But my naturopaths have suggested adding fish and eggs back in so I started doing that recently. I will try bone broth and collagen too. Thank you again!!
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I had all sorts of tests done. Was ultimately diagnosed with Celiac Disease and anemia and had a lot of vitamin and mineral deficiencies as a result. My doctors all told me it was anxiety as well, so I totally feel your pain. Adding back in animal products has completely transformed my health, I highly recommend listening to your body and finding a doctor who will listen to you!
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did celiac or the leaky gut ever resolve? and was it caused by the V diet or was it something you had prior do you think?
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Celiac is a lifelong autoimmune illness, the only “treatment” is a lifelong gluten free diet, which is what I do!
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This is a wonderful, balanced post. I was vegan from 2012 until about 2 years ago when my thyroid started struggling. I had to add a little seafood and seaweed back into my diet. I have recently flirted with eggs and though they taste delicious, they seem to have disagreed with my skin (acne) and my sinuses, much like dairy, which is a huge no for me. I’ve contemplated adding meat back in, but as someone who loves recovering from workouts at light speed thanks to plant based foods, I just can’t wrap my head around the idea—that and the whole eating animals. Fish was hard enough. But thanks for sharing your story. It made my decision to at least try adding eggs back in feel a little less fraught.
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Thanks for sharing your story! I is making me realise a lot about the problems I am facing with my vegan diet and demonstrating to me that I should feel okay when adding a few animal products in a week.
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Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have felt so guilty since transitioning from vegan diet to incorporating animals products. When I first went vegan, I felt amazing. I felt lighter and had plenty of energy. I thought I had found the perfect answer to our problems! I thought this would help human’s stay healthy and save the animals. Win Win! I told everyone I knew about the vegan diet and its incredible benefits and even decided to start raising my daughter vegan. I thought I was being a responsible vegan as well, incorporating supplements and a wide range of fruits, vegetables, nuts and legumes. I even sought out a vegan dietician to give me advice on raising my daughter vegan. But after a year into the vegan lifestyle something shifted in my body. I was not feeling well. I had an upset stomach and was low on energy. I felt anxious and stressed out. No matter how much I ate (I was even loading up on carbs), I was always hungry. It got to a point where just the sight of raw meat would give me the most intense cravings. That’s when I knew I had to start incorporating animal products back into my diet…
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I read your whole article. Thank you so much! I am 69 years old and have a 50 year history of serious digestive issues which medical doctors had various medications as the answer. 2 years ago I finally went to a Naturopath. She advised I transition to gluten and dairy free with the exception of butter. All of my symptoms resolved. I recently decided to go a step further and eat mostly plant based. None of my original symptoms came back but I have so much gas all the time. I am not going to a doctor about this. Your article has encouraged me to moderate my diet a bit more. Sorry so long an entry but want you to know I am very grateful for you sharing your story!!
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I was so happy reading this as I’ve been racked with guilt.
I started eating plant based under the advisement of my GP after being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, and also for environmental reasons.
I have found it a struggle to balance my physiological reactions to the diet (bloating and a lot of the others you mention) as well as finding meals my fussy family would eat and the energy to cook AND lose weight. It’s felt like a battle for 2 years and I come to the conclusion that I need to look after my health first.
It’s my first week of reintroducing meat and I can feel a sense of relief in mind and body. I will only include meat in evening meals, and not every day, but I’m not going to beat myself up about it any more.
Thank you for writing this. 😊-
Thanks so much for sharing Kate! So sorry to hear what you’re going through, but I hope you’re able to find what works for your body.
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I loved reading this and I can relate so much. Thanks for sharing
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