Why I Am No Longer Vegan
I kindly ask that you read this entire post before leaving any comments. While I am no longer vegan, the recipes on this blog will always be vegan friendly and cater to all types of eaters. Thank you for your continued support.
I have been putting this post off for a while because I’ve been really nervous about how it would be received. On one end, I was worried that friends and family who were skeptical of a plant based diet to begin with would have an “I told you so” mentality.
On the other hand, I worried that those who believe a plant-based diet is the only healthful way of eating would be critical and not understand my choice.
The bottom line is, I won’t ever be able to please everyone. This is the best decision for me and I am here to share my story in hopes it helps anyone who is in a similar position as I was.
Becoming vegan
I first went vegan in the Fall of 2015 and I felt really good. I had been pescatarian for a few months prior to that, and decided to cut out all dairy to help my hormones, digestion, and skin. Eventually, eggs were the only animal products remaining, so I figured why not try veganism?
Initially, it was a change I made for my health. However, it quickly became a deeply ethical stance after learning about factory farming and how animals end up on our plates. To me, veganism wasn’t a diet, it was a lifestyle, and I was in it for the long haul. For myself, the planet, and the animals.
My skin was the clearest it had ever been, my energy was high, my sleep and mood improved, my periods were easy, my running got better, the benefits were seemingly endless.
I was so excited about sharing my cruelty-free lifestyle with others, so eventually Eat With Clarity was born. I was passionate about sharing recipes with others and was excited to see the vegan movement grow.
I like to think I was a really responsible vegan. I always took my important supplements (vitamins D, B12, and even a multivitamin for good measure), didn’t try extreme fruit only diets, month long water fasts, or any of the other ridiculous trends I’d seen others doing.
Where things went wrong
About a year and a half ago (early 2018) I started to lose extreme amounts of hair in the shower. I’m not talking about a few extra hairs in my brush or on my pillow. I mean huge handfuls that would require me to clean the shower drain at least 3 times over the course of a 5-10 minute shower or else I would end up taking a bath instead.
I hate to sound superficial, but hair loss as a young woman is terrifying. It’s scary to feel like your body is going against you and scarier when you don’t know how to stop it or how bad it’s going to get.
I didn’t share any of this until now because it’s hard dealing with health issues and broadcasting them publicly. Everyone seems to have an opinion about what you should and shouldn’t do, so I kept this to myself for the most part.
Frankly, I don’t love sharing this now. But I think it’s important to include these details and share my story because what I went through is incredibly common. So, if you too are dealing with hair loss or other health issues, please know you aren’t alone.
I knew I needed a change
In addition to the hair loss, I lost my periods, had extreme fatigue yet horrible insomnia, shortness of breath, shin rashes, digestive discomfort and acne so severe I could hardly sleep.
No matter what I ate, right after dinner I was always bloated, gassy, and felt painfully inflamed. Most of the time after I ate I looked pregnant. I was in so much physical and emotional pain that I became a very unpleasant person to be around.
I played around with different foods, macronutrient breakdowns, and a host of other things while still maintaining a vegan diet, but nothing seemed to help.
No matter what food I cut out or added back, it stayed the same. My skin was terrible, my energy was low, and it was really hard finding foods that didn’t irritate my body.
I saw countless doctors and specialists. Eventually, after getting multiple rounds of blood work done, I learned I had severe hormonal imbalances, anemia, leaky gut, celiac disease and several nutrient deficiencies despite my diligent supplementation and varied plant-based diet.
My iron, B12, and vitamin D were extremely low, as well as iodine, selenium, zinc, copper, and a few others.
My body was unable to absorb iron and other nutrients in my food and supplements. In order to absorb nutrients, I needed to heal my gut. There were many foods I had to eliminate to heal my gut such as certain nuts, grains, and legumes. Continuing on a vegan diet without these foods would only lead to further deficiencies.
I contemplated making the change for months before I actually did, despite having very strong cravings for things like eggs and salmon.
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Veganism had become a huge part of my identity over the years and I didn’t want to let it go. I love animals and didn’t want to contribute to any suffering, but I also didn’t want my own health to suffer.
While I was not dealing with any life threatening conditions (though they very much so affected my ability to function on a daily basis), the symptoms I had served as very stark warning signs that something was wrong and needed my attention. If I continued to ignore them now, they would merely lead to more severe health issues down the road.
I tried EVERYTHING
In the past year and half I have seen more doctors and specialists than I care to count. I’ve seen conventional doctors, naturopathic doctors, homeopaths, chiropractors, acupuncturists, nutritionists, dietitians. You name it, I’ve tried it. I’ve had countless tests done, from hormone panels, to thyroid, iron, vitamin A, D, B12, iodine, and more.
I tried DOZENS of supplements (at one point I was taking upwards of 50 supplements a day just to feel normal). A lot of progress was made thanks to certain supplements, but not enough to get my health back to normal.
I love animals, I care about the planet, I don’t want to contribute to the suffering of any living being. But I couldn’t ignore the fact that my health was getting worse.
Your body speaks to you. Your job is to listen.
In January of this year, I decided to add collagen and bone broth into my diet to help my gut. I was scared to take the first sip of bone broth, maybe even a little grossed out, but as soon as I did, I could hear my body saying ahhh, yes, this is what I need. I drank it a few times a week, and added collagen to my golden milk lattes and slowly started to feel better.
Eventually, I added in eggs, wild caught fish, and organic chicken a few times a week. I soon noticed I no longer had the gassy and bloated feeling after I ate. Changes certainly did not occur overnight, but over time I started to feel much better, and my blood work reflected that.
To me, veganism was always about compassion. Compassion for others, the animals, the planet, but also for myself. Despite my morals screaming at me to keep eating a fully plant-based diet, my body was screaming for something different.
I couldn’t continue eating in a way that was not contributing to my health. Is eating an entirely plant-based diet a kinder way to treat the animals? Yes. But I needed to find a happy medium and treat myself kindly.
I wanted to be in a good place both physically and mentally before I shared this change. I have no ulterior or financial motive for changing my diet. The sole reason I changed my diet was because it was necessary for my health.
My experience adding in animal products
After many years and many thousands of dollars, I am very happy to report that my hair loss has stopped and is (slowly but surely!) growing back. My energy is higher, I’m able to sleep through the night, my digestion is better, my skin has cleared, I got my period back, and my blood work is much better.
My health issues didn’t vanish overnight and my dietary change hasn’t healed everything. Diet is only one piece of the health puzzle, albeit a very important one. This is my story and experience, and I do not want to give the vegan movement a bad rap.
I understand my decision may be confusing or upsetting. However, I want to be clear that a fully plant-based diet is a healthful and nutritious way of eating. It can work for a lot of people. However, I had to honor the fact that it was no longer working for me and probably won’t work for everyone. Humans are natural omnivores after all, and as much as I wanted it to, a fully plant based diet did not agree with my body. Veganism is inherently about compassion, but it’s important to remember to extend this compassion to ourself and fellow humans who simply cannot eat this way. Whether for health, financial or other reasons.
There is no one perfect human diet. We are all unique beings with different needs, ancestral backgrounds, and physical chemistries. I used to believe that some variation of veganism could work for everyone. But over the past year of dealing with my health issues, I realize this is not the case.
Being a compassionate, ethical, environmentally conscious person does not have to be black or white. Small changes go a long way and I think it’s important for us to do the best we can when we can. I do my best to be as environmentally and ethically conscious as possible while still maintaining my health.
When I heard stories of other people turning their backs on the vegan diet for health reasons, I would roll my eyes. I didn’t think there was any possible way animal products would promote health.
I always thought said person couldn’t have been in it for the right reasons. My sincere apologies to any ex-vegan I ever judged along the way. I can now understand where you are coming from.
What this means going forward
The recipes on this blog will continue to be 80% plant based and always gluten and dairy free. The recipes that are not vegan will have vegan options or alternatives whenever possible.
Certain recipes will contain eggs, fish, or chicken from time to time. However, I want this to be a place where ALL types of eaters are welcome, no questions or judgment.
My ultimate goal will always be to inspire others to bring MORE plants into the picture. For the sake of our health, the animals, and the planet, more plants is an excellent goal.
I feel amazing eating mostly plant based, but feel extra amazing with the addition of animal products. I hope you can respect my decision and I appreciate all of your continued love and support! ♡
Comments
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Thank you for this. I’m as conflicted as you were but my body hasn’t responded well to a solely vegan diet. It’s been 14 months and I’m ready to allow myself balance without guilt
70% of my meals will be plant based with 30% having organic free range eggs and wild caught fish.
Great article x -
Thank you! It’s as if you just wrote my story. Beautifully said. I look forward to following your journey.
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Thank you Lisa! All the best to you.
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“Veganism is inherently about compassion, but it’s important to remember to extend this compassion to ourself and fellow humans who simply cannot eat this way.”
That’s exactly my point of view after three years of being almost vegan (I did consume eggs). Above everything else, it’s very important to acknowledge what our very own body actually needs. As you said yourself, all those symptoms might be our body complaining and we should listen to those complaints instead of ignoring them. Personally throughout those years I’ve experienced a significant hair loss, felt bloated and gassy all the time. Also my skin didn’t get rid of acne and my energy levels never got better, instead I felt tired all the time. I still feel like that because the decision I made to include animal products in my diet is pretty recent. I hope I’ll be better soon. Thank you Claire for sharing your story and I hope you’re doing well.🤍
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Couldn’t agree more! Thank you for your sweet comment Renia, hope all is well with you!
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Hi, I just found your blog and I’m glad you’re feeling much healthier now. I think there’s likely a lot of judgement in the vegan world (some real, but some perceived), which is unfortunate, as it actually delays good changes that people can make with regard to their diets.
I’m on week 4 of no dairy, chicken and beef (after decades of a typical diet that included them), but I’m still eating eggs and some seafood here and there. Yesterday I had an egg sandwich, and today I made pizza with seitan chicken and a vegan cheese sauce — both of which I made myself. I’m proud of my changes even though there’s no community/label for people like me, and I can neither call myself a true vegetarian or a true vegan. From what you wrote, you have nothing to feel ashamed of either.
I think we all do better when we cease comparing ourselves to others, but just see how far WE’VE come. That makes logical sense to me because we’re each meant to grow and walk our own path, not compete against each other in some game with made up rules based on fear. Life is hard enough, isn’t it?
So I’m very happy for you, and I hope you’re doing just fine.
Missy
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Hi Missy,
I totally understand how you feel! It’s hard to connect with different dietary groups when there can be a lot of judgment on both ends of the spectrum. I hope you’re doing well and are able to find balance in whatever way works for you!Best,
Claire
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I am really glad I’m not the only one who is going through this🙃. I am 10 years old right now and is underweight,having hair loss,bad skin,feeling bloated after a meal,fatigue, and shortness of breath. I started a plant-based diet 6 months ago I believe and it started out okay, but now i’m feeling terrible and its affecting my mental health real bad. I went to a doctor recently and she said I was very underweight (i’m 4’10 and 64 pounds). This whole thing also started when I thought I was fat and tried loosing weight. I started eating way too few calories and started counting calories and being worried about what I ate and what I would eat. This affected my mental health,weight,and my daily does of nutrient intake. I even went through a phase where I was too lazy to even take a shower. When I started veganism, it made everything even worse. Right now, i’m trying to go back to normal and make everything right. Today I ate 1 fried egg with strawberry slices on the side for breakfast. And for lunch I ate brown rice with carrots and spinach, which made me feel bloated. It was my first time eating brown rice, and I felt terrible. My stomach started hurting some time later and it made me really stressed out and worried about myself. My parents tried to help me relax and have me take a sip of 2% dairy milk (also note that my parents are aware that i’m underweight but not vegan). I refused to take it and tried just drinking water and walking around. Its night-time right now and i’m about to go to bed, I really hope that I can get better soon. For now on, I will eat fruits,vegetables,whole-grains,legumes,nuts,non-dairy products,salmon,eggs,and chicken. I will also have some multi-vitamins on hand so that I get enough nutrients! Oh I forgot to say, during all the disaster, I never took any supplements so that might have also made a big and bad impact into my health. I will try to update you on the rest of my journey and how I do. Also please do write me back to help me out, it will mean THE WORLD to me! Love, Paloma Marie Asencio
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I am now just exploring a vegan diet due to liver disease. This is the second article and you are the third woman who has talked about reluctantly having to give up veganism for her health. Given that animal meat is not something I can any longer safely eat, I really hope I am never faced with a similar choice. You did what you needed to do for you, and your honesty and courage are a beacon of light to others trying to balance love and compassion for animals with making appropriate health decisions. Not easy.
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Hi,
I turned vegan Jan 2020 and have been losing hair heavily for 9 months now. And eyebrows. I’ve seen multiple doctors too and had blood work – which all came back fine.
I’m tempted to reintroduce meat and eggs on the advice of doctors and a dietician.
Did you experience eyebrow loss?
How long did it take for your hair to return to ‘normal’?Glad to hear you’re fit and healthy now.
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Hi, I didn’t experience any eyebrow loss, but I’d definitely recommend chatting with a doctor about it! It took several years before my hair returned to a state I was comfortable with. Hang in there!
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Thank you for your honesty. I needed this.
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Hi Clair,
I have to admit that reading this ticked me off. There is a lot of ableism in the vegan community. I have had an autoimmune disease for most of my life and literally cannot survive without having animal products. Regardless, vegans have shamed and gaslit me. I don’t think that you should have to experience a health condition yourself in order to have empathy for those with chronic illness. Some vegans have all the empathy and compassion in the world for animals but completely spurn their fellow humans living with disability and chronic illness. That is ableism. I hope the vegan community can recognize how they’ve been prejudiced against folks like me and work to change that because it’s honestly unacceptable.-
Hi Catherine, I’m not sure why you’re coming at me for this? Seems like we are in agreement about the issues within the vegan community. I have an autoimmune disease as well and fully understand the need for animal products, as including them in my diet has completely changed my health. Again, not sure why you’re addressing your frustration toward me, seems like we’re on the same side! I have been shamed and gaslit as well by people who don’t understand why I need to consume animal products to maintain my health, and I’m sorry you have experienced that as well.
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I have to say, that is what i have seen as well. people of various diets (could be vegan, vegetarian, or other, or even other beliefs) that have little to no compassion for others, judge harshly, or even attack.
i even got attacked and harassed as sort of a stand in for all of those more….(insert negative word here) type of people. i didn’t judge, didn’t tell people what to eat, but they’d come at me with an accounting of their lunches at work, or to profess their love of meat at me. and it’s like… just leave me alone. if you are curious about stuff, we’ll talk. but otherwise i kept to myself and hated people parroting that joke at me — “how do you know who is vegan? don’t worry, they’ll tell you.” as if i was supposed to own a behavior i didn’t do???
anyways… i think that shaming and such never accomplishes anything. crusading doesn’t either. it just isolates people, puts them at odds. and frankly, makes me look down on the person’s cause. i can’t imagine it wouldn’t be the same for others. (i grew to dislike many of the vegan and veg folks out there because frankly a lot of them were insufferable. egotistical. in your face. etc. i also ended up hiding the fact that i was vegan and later veg, just so people wouldn’t feel compelled to harass me.)
i hope that people learn to grow up, to be kind, and to understand that everyone is different. and that even if a lifestyle or diet works for them, FOREVER… it doesn’t mean that another person’s body would act the same way. some people thrive forever on veg and that is great. i thought that would be me as well. but steadily things kept proving that wrong and so after many many years, and an identity tied to being a plant-based eater… i had to make a change as well. i still can feel upset about it. but does it help any animals for me to kill myself slowly with degrading health, or to have mental health suffer to the point i don’t want to be alive? …. probably not. so my compromise is just enough alt protein as necessary, sourced sustainably and humanely. it is the best i can do to be true to my morals/beliefs, and true to myself (actual health & wellbeing). it’s still hard though. it’s only been 2 weeks. after almost 10 yrs. : (
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Thank you for sharing this! I have been vegan for about a year and a half now and my skin is absolutely terrible, I have such low energy and migraines, and feel like I am always “allergic” to something new. I feel like it’s time for me to switch it up, realizing as important as animals and the environment are to me, my health has to be top priority too. How did you feel slowly introducing meat back into your diet? I tried chicken yesterday and felt SO guilty. Any tips?
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Hi Riley! I totally get how you feel. Honestly, chicken was hard at first for me. I started with fish for a few months before doing chicken and was fine with that. I felt a lot better when I started eating chicken, so I would make recipe where it kind of blended in like stir fries and chop it small, shredded chicken tacos etc. so I wouldn’t notice it as much. The guilt wore off after a while (hopefully that doesn’t make me sound horrible lol) because I just felt SO much better after feeling so horrible for so long, so it was all worth it for me. Give it time and listen to your body above all!
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Hi Claire
I just stumbled upon this post and i felt like i was reading my own story lol.
I am only very slowly transition away from a vegan diet but with extreme guilt at the moment unfortunately… I have not been able to include to eat any animal i wont call them meat because to me they are just innocent animals… Nevertheless my vegan diet like your has not worked… I am. Gutted that i cannot maintain it but my body is sending clear signals…
I currently have gained an iodine defeicency through my diet and have terrible joint pain and tiredness due to the high carb content of this diet… I have slowly included eggs back in to my diet and im not a huge fan of fish now but i feel i may be able to work up to this…
How is your diet going these days
Be lovely to hear
Kindest of regards
Deborah-
Hi Deborah!
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through the same. It’s been about two years since I changed my diet and honestly, I will never look back. I felt the same way you did about eating meat (and even calling it that), but it’s made such a difference to my health and the quality of my life that it now feels very normal to me. It definitely takes time to feel comfortable with it, especially if you’ve been vegan for a while, but at the end of the day, your body knows what’s best for you.
Sending you so much love, hope you start to feel better soon!
Claire
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Thank you for sharing this. I’m sorry you had to go through this & glad you managed to recover. There’s no need to explain yourself, as you say world isn’t back & white, single-dimensional and we shouldn’t judge people, let alone in binary options. We will never know individual’s full story, we don’t have the right to judge. It’s the openness that really matters. I tried plant-based diet myself, had similar health experience (liver & pancreas in my case) and appreciate your effort to show people the perspective that being ex-vegan or anyone else by that matter, doesn’t make you a bad person, or someone less committed to environmentalism & compassion. There are many ways to express it and as Greta said we don’t need some people doing all, we need all people doing a little.
Your blog is really great!
Best of luck!-
Thank you Isa! I really appreciate your thoughtful response. I totally agree, and love that quote from Greta! Thank you so much for your support, hope you’re staying healthy!
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Your story was interesting to read. I went vegan a few years ago and have not checked my levels but plan on doing it in the next couple months. I feel great but sorry to hear you had such a rough experience. It’s obvious that your compassionate about animals and tried everything you could before giving up on veganism. I myself, recently, have added bivalves into my diet so guess I’m no longer a vegan. Hope your health keeps on improving.
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Thanks Jamie! It’s been about 2 years since I made the switch and I’m honestly feeling better than I have in a long time! All the best to you.
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Hi Claire!
I’m a little late to the party, but I just wanted to say thank you for posting this! I was vegan for 4 years, supplemented, and was very diligent about meeting all of my nutritional needs. It worked great for awhile and then I started having issues.
I think there is a way to be both compassionate to the planet while also being compassionate towards yourself.
Being sustainable and conscientious with ones choices is extremely important. The rest is up to you and your body!-
Hi Carisa! I couldn’t agree more. Hope you were able to find what works for you!
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Hi! I’m experiencing something similar. I have been vegan for almost four years. When I started, my skin cleared, my mood shifted for the better and I stopped feeling weighed down. Now it’s like the exact opposite! My acne is back, I’m always tired, and my hair is very weird and weak. I crave eggs and salmon and sometimes meat! I made salmon last week to try and see how I would feel. I feel fine? I’m sure once won’t affect anything. I’m going to try to stop eating processed foods and then if that doesn’t fix what I’m experiencing: hello eggs, I guess.
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I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. All I can suggest is to listen to your body! Sending my best.
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