Why I Am No Longer Vegan
I kindly ask that you read this entire post before leaving any comments. While I am no longer vegan, the recipes on this blog will always be vegan friendly and cater to all types of eaters. Thank you for your continued support.
I have been putting this post off for a while because I’ve been really nervous about how it would be received. On one end, I was worried that friends and family who were skeptical of a plant based diet to begin with would have an “I told you so” mentality.
On the other hand, I worried that those who believe a plant-based diet is the only healthful way of eating would be critical and not understand my choice.
The bottom line is, I won’t ever be able to please everyone. This is the best decision for me and I am here to share my story in hopes it helps anyone who is in a similar position as I was.
Becoming vegan
I first went vegan in the Fall of 2015 and I felt really good. I had been pescatarian for a few months prior to that, and decided to cut out all dairy to help my hormones, digestion, and skin. Eventually, eggs were the only animal products remaining, so I figured why not try veganism?
Initially, it was a change I made for my health. However, it quickly became a deeply ethical stance after learning about factory farming and how animals end up on our plates. To me, veganism wasn’t a diet, it was a lifestyle, and I was in it for the long haul. For myself, the planet, and the animals.
My skin was the clearest it had ever been, my energy was high, my sleep and mood improved, my periods were easy, my running got better, the benefits were seemingly endless.
I was so excited about sharing my cruelty-free lifestyle with others, so eventually Eat With Clarity was born. I was passionate about sharing recipes with others and was excited to see the vegan movement grow.
I like to think I was a really responsible vegan. I always took my important supplements (vitamins D, B12, and even a multivitamin for good measure), didn’t try extreme fruit only diets, month long water fasts, or any of the other ridiculous trends I’d seen others doing.
Where things went wrong
About a year and a half ago (early 2018) I started to lose extreme amounts of hair in the shower. I’m not talking about a few extra hairs in my brush or on my pillow. I mean huge handfuls that would require me to clean the shower drain at least 3 times over the course of a 5-10 minute shower or else I would end up taking a bath instead.
I hate to sound superficial, but hair loss as a young woman is terrifying. It’s scary to feel like your body is going against you and scarier when you don’t know how to stop it or how bad it’s going to get.
I didn’t share any of this until now because it’s hard dealing with health issues and broadcasting them publicly. Everyone seems to have an opinion about what you should and shouldn’t do, so I kept this to myself for the most part.
Frankly, I don’t love sharing this now. But I think it’s important to include these details and share my story because what I went through is incredibly common. So, if you too are dealing with hair loss or other health issues, please know you aren’t alone.
I knew I needed a change
In addition to the hair loss, I lost my periods, had extreme fatigue yet horrible insomnia, shortness of breath, shin rashes, digestive discomfort and acne so severe I could hardly sleep.
No matter what I ate, right after dinner I was always bloated, gassy, and felt painfully inflamed. Most of the time after I ate I looked pregnant. I was in so much physical and emotional pain that I became a very unpleasant person to be around.
I played around with different foods, macronutrient breakdowns, and a host of other things while still maintaining a vegan diet, but nothing seemed to help.
No matter what food I cut out or added back, it stayed the same. My skin was terrible, my energy was low, and it was really hard finding foods that didn’t irritate my body.
I saw countless doctors and specialists. Eventually, after getting multiple rounds of blood work done, I learned I had severe hormonal imbalances, anemia, leaky gut, celiac disease and several nutrient deficiencies despite my diligent supplementation and varied plant-based diet.
My iron, B12, and vitamin D were extremely low, as well as iodine, selenium, zinc, copper, and a few others.
My body was unable to absorb iron and other nutrients in my food and supplements. In order to absorb nutrients, I needed to heal my gut. There were many foods I had to eliminate to heal my gut such as certain nuts, grains, and legumes. Continuing on a vegan diet without these foods would only lead to further deficiencies.
I contemplated making the change for months before I actually did, despite having very strong cravings for things like eggs and salmon.
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Veganism had become a huge part of my identity over the years and I didn’t want to let it go. I love animals and didn’t want to contribute to any suffering, but I also didn’t want my own health to suffer.
While I was not dealing with any life threatening conditions (though they very much so affected my ability to function on a daily basis), the symptoms I had served as very stark warning signs that something was wrong and needed my attention. If I continued to ignore them now, they would merely lead to more severe health issues down the road.
I tried EVERYTHING
In the past year and half I have seen more doctors and specialists than I care to count. I’ve seen conventional doctors, naturopathic doctors, homeopaths, chiropractors, acupuncturists, nutritionists, dietitians. You name it, I’ve tried it. I’ve had countless tests done, from hormone panels, to thyroid, iron, vitamin A, D, B12, iodine, and more.
I tried DOZENS of supplements (at one point I was taking upwards of 50 supplements a day just to feel normal). A lot of progress was made thanks to certain supplements, but not enough to get my health back to normal.
I love animals, I care about the planet, I don’t want to contribute to the suffering of any living being. But I couldn’t ignore the fact that my health was getting worse.
Your body speaks to you. Your job is to listen.
In January of this year, I decided to add collagen and bone broth into my diet to help my gut. I was scared to take the first sip of bone broth, maybe even a little grossed out, but as soon as I did, I could hear my body saying ahhh, yes, this is what I need. I drank it a few times a week, and added collagen to my golden milk lattes and slowly started to feel better.
Eventually, I added in eggs, wild caught fish, and organic chicken a few times a week. I soon noticed I no longer had the gassy and bloated feeling after I ate. Changes certainly did not occur overnight, but over time I started to feel much better, and my blood work reflected that.
To me, veganism was always about compassion. Compassion for others, the animals, the planet, but also for myself. Despite my morals screaming at me to keep eating a fully plant-based diet, my body was screaming for something different.
I couldn’t continue eating in a way that was not contributing to my health. Is eating an entirely plant-based diet a kinder way to treat the animals? Yes. But I needed to find a happy medium and treat myself kindly.
I wanted to be in a good place both physically and mentally before I shared this change. I have no ulterior or financial motive for changing my diet. The sole reason I changed my diet was because it was necessary for my health.
My experience adding in animal products
After many years and many thousands of dollars, I am very happy to report that my hair loss has stopped and is (slowly but surely!) growing back. My energy is higher, I’m able to sleep through the night, my digestion is better, my skin has cleared, I got my period back, and my blood work is much better.
My health issues didn’t vanish overnight and my dietary change hasn’t healed everything. Diet is only one piece of the health puzzle, albeit a very important one. This is my story and experience, and I do not want to give the vegan movement a bad rap.
I understand my decision may be confusing or upsetting. However, I want to be clear that a fully plant-based diet is a healthful and nutritious way of eating. It can work for a lot of people. However, I had to honor the fact that it was no longer working for me and probably won’t work for everyone. Humans are natural omnivores after all, and as much as I wanted it to, a fully plant based diet did not agree with my body. Veganism is inherently about compassion, but it’s important to remember to extend this compassion to ourself and fellow humans who simply cannot eat this way. Whether for health, financial or other reasons.
There is no one perfect human diet. We are all unique beings with different needs, ancestral backgrounds, and physical chemistries. I used to believe that some variation of veganism could work for everyone. But over the past year of dealing with my health issues, I realize this is not the case.
Being a compassionate, ethical, environmentally conscious person does not have to be black or white. Small changes go a long way and I think it’s important for us to do the best we can when we can. I do my best to be as environmentally and ethically conscious as possible while still maintaining my health.
When I heard stories of other people turning their backs on the vegan diet for health reasons, I would roll my eyes. I didn’t think there was any possible way animal products would promote health.
I always thought said person couldn’t have been in it for the right reasons. My sincere apologies to any ex-vegan I ever judged along the way. I can now understand where you are coming from.
What this means going forward
The recipes on this blog will continue to be 80% plant based and always gluten and dairy free. The recipes that are not vegan will have vegan options or alternatives whenever possible.
Certain recipes will contain eggs, fish, or chicken from time to time. However, I want this to be a place where ALL types of eaters are welcome, no questions or judgment.
My ultimate goal will always be to inspire others to bring MORE plants into the picture. For the sake of our health, the animals, and the planet, more plants is an excellent goal.
I feel amazing eating mostly plant based, but feel extra amazing with the addition of animal products. I hope you can respect my decision and I appreciate all of your continued love and support! ♡
Comments
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Thank you!
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I recently tried vegan diet health reasons, fully researched, fully dedicated, and experienced no improvement. In fact, my arthritis got worse, I’m dedicated to giving it the full amount of time because, but it’s hard. Thank you for this article.
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I was vegan for 15 years, with pretty heavy health issues like you mentioned. I finally stopped after getting severely ill in 2018. I’m a 5’9″ man, and my weight got down to 130 lb, I stopped sleeping, and my nails got so brittle and finally half of them fell off! I contracted several illnesses at the same time (a parasitic stomach infection, sinus infection, and a bacterial infection) that kept me sick for 8 weeks. My wife finally told me she needed to nurse me back to health and I told her I would goo ahead and abandon my strict diet temporarily to eat whatever she made. Well, she went with some meat and it was precisely the next day I started to feel better and recover. I stuck with a little meat to my diet daily and gained 20 lb of muscle in about a month! No more extreme diets, balance is key. There’s a major lack of balance in western society in general today, and even diet has become a one or the other extreme. That, as it turns out, hasn’t been a healthy turn.
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Wow that is a powerful story. Thank you for sharing. I took experienced the same thing. I was vegan for 7 years and finally it got to the point that my joints hurt so bad I couldn’t walk. But I didn’t realize it was my diet. When I got married my husband even before we married was patient with me and slowly helped me realize that it was indeed my diet making me SICK. I found a good balance finally and have two healthy children now I think only due to the change of diet.
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I’m a new-ish vegan. So far I’m feeling fine. But this post made me nervous and worried, because I really don’t want to harm my health. I don’t want to wait until I start having health issues. Feeling very torn… Anyone have some advice for me?
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I have been vegan for 3 years and just went back to eating fish, chicken and low fat cheese. I feel better now. I went the vegan way of eating for my many health issues and believed everything I read about it. It was actually harder to go back than to start the vegan. I still eat mostly vegetable, just with these additions. I need to lose weight and have not been able to even with the low calorie. Hopefully I can lose now. Thanks for your blog.
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I have been vegan for 3 years as well and at first I felt really good, I have lost quite a bit of weight. But my vitamins are majorly suffering. I can’t take certain vitamins at all, I’ve tried all kinds and have spent hundreds of dollars just to have to throw them out. My acne is the worst it has ever been and I’m almost 36! My acid reflux and gassy feeling are the worst ever! I haven’t eaten any animal products yet, but I have been thinking about it. I feel so bad and like such a failure! I’m also very nervous about telling my vegan friends if I do decide to start adding in animal products. They very much don’t understand. This is a great article and is what I needed to hear.
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Sorry to hear about what you’re going through. Definitely listen to your body, I know it can be a tough change and people may be confused, but it’s so important to do what is best for you.
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Hello Kayla! I was definitely in the same boat as you except I didn’t realize that it was my diet making me sick till I got married and my husband pointed it out. It still took time for my to let go of my diet. It is a hard transition! I am trying to better understand how to help people in this situation and would love your response if you would be willing to help me out. 😊
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I’m sorry that has happened to you, and I can’t imagine how difficult it is to go back eating animal products after knowing all the suffering they go through.
My experience is totally the opposite. I’m been thriving on a plant based diet. I’m 46 and vegan for 13 years. I have no health issues, I never have headaches or period pain, or any other pain. I don’t have allergies or intolerance. I only feel bloated if I eat too much wheat gluten (bread, pizza and pasta on the same day). My skin and my hair looks healthy. I have loads of energy (I train capoeira 3x week) and I don’t feel tired during the day. I’m the only one in my family with normal thyroid (all my sisters, my mum and my brother have hypothyroidism). I do eat tons of veggies though. I eat at least 30 types of plants per week to keep my gut healthy. I avoid soda, sugar, deep fried food, ultra processed food and refined carbs.
Avocado, tahini, nutritional yeast, hummus, a mix of seeds, tofu and dark leaf greens are my everyday staple food – they have been great for my gut. I love so much how my diet makes me feel… I rarely few low.-
Happy to hear it’s still working for you! Everyone is so different and it’s definitely important we all try to find what works for us.
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I was on a vegan diet as well and experienced the same problems you had hair falling out lack of energy . I am a person that likes to workout at least 4 or 5 times a week. And over time I got weaker and weaker and was unable to do what I was doing. So my iron was low I had digestive issues , inflammation lack of nutriants being obsorbed properly, so I went back to eating clean organic animal proteins. Feeling better but will take some time to get back to full strength. Thank you for sharing your experience with a vegan diet.
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Sorry to hear about your experience! Happy you’re feeling better, and hopefully that continues to improve with time.
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I just accidentally stumbled upon your site and am so glad I did. I have been vegan for two years and vegetarian for three before that (ultimately vegan at home and veggie when going out as needed). I have IBS, a thyroid condition, low libido, hair loss, all the gut issues you mentioned and more. I had some fish this past weekend, and eggs. Trying to do free-range and am having chicken tonight if I can stomach it. I am trying to not picture things I’ve accidentally seen on Instagram when following vegan accounts (processing plants, etc.). My IBS/most likely bad anxiety untreated, allows me to picture the animal being killed, and that makes eating it in the moment difficult. Working on that now and trying to show myself some grace. I have tried everything, like you did, to remain vegan. I can’t stand up for animals when I can barely do so myself.
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So sorry to hear about what you’re going through, I totally empathize. I will say it’s been about 4 years since I stopped being vegan and my health has truly done a complete 180. Listen to your body, it knows best!
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Thank you for sharing your experience. I am going through something similar and it is refreshing to know that I am not alone. I have been vegan since 2018 and LOVED it for the first few years. Now, I live a sleepless life in pain. I have slowly started introducing animal products back into my diet – but have felt like a traitor. I know that I cannot eat dairy, but my body LOVES the meat and eggs that I have consumed.
Thanks again.
To a happier & healthier tomorrow!
Kathy-
I totally understand how you feel! It was such a tough decision for me as well, but it’s been about 4 years and I can honestly say I’ve never felt better. My body definitely loves animal protein too! Wish you all the best!
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I literally prayed today for answers to my health issues over the past few years. I have been vegan for almost 8 years now and about 4 years ago I became ill. I could have written the beginning of your post here about the doctor visits and everything possible and tons of supplements! So much money, so much time, so many doctors and nothing worked! My husband kept saying it is probably the vegan diet but like you, it felt like my identity and I praised that diet on social media like crazy! Just today I had an epiphany that it could truly be the diet. I started today to eat eggs. I don’t even really like meat. Never have, but will do anything to feel better. Thank you for writing this. It was definitely sent to me on purpose as I just Googled “Are vegan diets healthy.” Any tips you can give to eating really clean or supplements, etc… I don’t know if I have leaky gut. I never have stomach issues, but I have neurologic stuff going on. I have alot of emotional healing I am working on as well. ThanK you again!!!!
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Claire, I believe this is me! I think why I have the neurological issues because I cannot absorb the B12 from the supplement for some reason. I am as of today transitioning back to eating meats and eggs and some dairy. I want to find the cleanest sources, as eating clean is super important to me. Do you have any info on why some cannot absorb the B12 supplement?
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Thank you for sharing this. While I do believe some people can thrive on a vegan diet, I don’t think everyone can. Considering how diverse human bodies are from one another, each with its own unique needs, potential allergies, sensitivities, and possible physical conditions and/or diseases, I truly feel not everyone is meant to be on a long-term vegan diet. No one knows your body better than you do.
Most medical doctors and healthcare professionals may say that most people can be healthy on a plant based diet but they don’t necessarily mean vegan when they said plant-based since plant-based doesn’t mean only plants but rather centered predominately on them and that can encompass a broader range of diets such as vegetarian, flexitarian and pescatarian.
If someone doesn’t feel healthy while being vegan, it’s a fallacy for others to automatically assume it’s a lack of nutritional education or moral fortitude if they decide they need to be attune to those needs. Shaming people who are trying their best doesn’t do any living being any good and it only alienates.
Being on a vegan diet is a privilege not everyone is even in a position to participate in depending on a myriad of factors outside of one’s control from financial and geographical constraints to health issues including disordered eating and diseases that limit what one can use to substitute and supplement their diet with.
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Well said and completely agree! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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In india, most of the people eat 70 percent vegetarian and 30 percent non vegetarian diet which i think is perfect to balance everything out.
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Thank-you so much for sharing this article! I have tried to go vegan and vegetarian lots of times, but my body can’t tolerate it. I feel sick from legumes, nuts, raw vegetables and too much fibre, and the fatigue is overwhelming. I recently tried to progress to plant based recently my body couldn’t handle it. I have also have needed iron infusions and b12 injections. It breaks my heart eating animals, I love them so much and find it hard to come to terms with the fact I cannot survive without eating meat. I did an Ayahuasca ceremony where I had visions and empathetic experiences of the suffering animals go through (I spent hours screaming and throwing up) and the fact I eat meat is a weight on my heart I can never feel free from. One day I just hope to live in better harmony with the planet, only consuming what I need and being grateful, and working towards living more sustainably. All the best in your journey.
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Thank you for this great article! I too tried to go fully vegan before for the animals and had to stop for similar health reasons. I have a heart condition and ended up in the hospital with electrolyte disturbances and abnormal blood work. I found I feel healthiest when I eat a variety of plant products along with some animal products. I also use vegan protein powders to supplement my protein intake and reduce the need for as much animal products. I also shop for organic, locally and humanely sourced meat, eggs, and dairy. For me what’s most important is the animal has a good life and isn’t stuck in a tiny cage. I am very anti-fur and don’t think we need to use animals for clothing, especially when doing so causes them so much suffering. But in terms of diet, unfortunately life has to eat life to survive; even plants can sense and respond to pain, we just don’t hear them. But I wish more people could come together with the shared goal of stopping animal cruelty and providing better conditions for farm animals, rather than simply demanding that everyone go vegan. When I’ve told people about the cruel reality of fur farming, they’ve clapped back with “do you eat meat? Then I don’t want to hear it” – but how am I to explain it to them? I will send them your article next time. Thanks again.
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I recently went from pescatarian diet including cheese and eggs to Vegan. At first I thought I was doing great then all of a sudden I had a horrible distended stomach that would not go away. I was so tired all I wanted to do was sleep. I had my physical and the blood work came back anemic. I wanted to improve my cholesterol and that didn’t even improve. I hate to admit it but this diet is wrecking my health. Your article is my message to stop. Thank you, as I now know I’m not alone.
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Sorry to hear what you’re going through, Bonnie. Listen to your body and you’ll figure out what works for you!
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Thank you for sharing your journey! My experiences physically, emotionally, and socially are almost identical to yours. These decisions are complex within our relationships to each other and the earth. I appreciate the sensitive and authentic voice you provide! I wish you wellness!
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